FAVORITE REALITY SHOW #5...

The first season of Paradise Hotel aired in the summer of 2003. It was SO good. The premise of the show is that eleven strangers move into this wonderful hotel. Then, they must pair up each "elimination ceremony" or they will have to leave paradise...forever. However, when 1 guest leaves paradise, a new guest arrives to take their place. It makes for a very interesting, everchanging game. After a few weeks, the new guests would stop coming in and it would dwindle down to the final 2 couples, one couple winning "the ultimate prize" (aka about $200,000)

Season 1 had a huge following on the FOX message boards. So, I wrote a little parody, making fun of the contestants, and posted it. There was a great response - in fact, one of the guys from the show actually emailed AND called me to say how much he loved it! That was cool! If you didn't watch the show, my parody won't mean much to you, but here's the first part of it:

GUESTS OF PARADISE HOTEL PLAYING MONOPOLY

Amy rolls the dice and moves the dog to St. James Place. "I'll buy it!" she exclaims, tossing her money to Alex, the banker.

Rather than put the money in the bank as he is supposed to, Alex stuffs the wad of fake cash down his pants, then quietly tells Kristin what he's done.

"Good." Kristin replies, staring blankly ahead, still entranced by the pretty colors of the board game.

"My turn!" Beau grabs the dice, laughing loudly and looking around the table. He moves his piece to Water Works, which reminds him of Amanda. He tears up a bit before passing the dice to Zack.

"Man, when I'm arrogant like this, things always go my way! I’m a debater! I’m Scottish!" He announces irreverently, adjusting his white sweat band before rolling. He lands on Go to Jail and whines, "Man, I'm sick of hearing that!"

"I'll wait for you, Zack," Amy vows, clutching the tarnished necklace around her neck.

Kristin takes her turn, proudly erecting a line of plastic houses on her cheap, sleazy Baltic Avenue, just like Amy and Toni instructed.

Next, Keith picks up the dice, rolling snake eyes. He moves his game piece to New York Avenue. Without a word, he hands over his money, indicating that he is buying the property.

“Are you kidding me?” Amy screeches, glaring at Keith, unable to comprehend that he is taking away the property she's been eyeing. Keith shakes his head in response.

“Excuse me?” Toni fumes, eyes bulging like fake breasts in a tube top, “ExCUSE me?”

“What?” Keith defends, “I’m just buying the property! Don’t ever yell at me like that!”

“You make me sick!” Amy growls, “I’m gonna make the rest of your game a nightmare!”

Keith shrugs his shoulders and having rolled doubles, gets to roll again. He lands on Marvin Gardens and buys it, completing his monopoly of the yellow properties.

“No way!” Amy grunts, “It’s not fair for you to have a monopoly if I can’t have one! Put it back!”

“I’m just playing the game!” Keith laments, “I rolled the dice and landed on it! I’m not gonna NOT buy it just so you can win the game!”

“It was our idea to play the game!” Amy shouts, jumping up and waving her arms frantically.

"I'll see you on States Avenue with the thimble and the wheelbarrow!" Zack adds.

Keith shakes his head in exasperation and hands the dice to Dave. He lands on Chance, pulling the card that reads, “Advance to Boardwalk.” He smiles gratefully and moves his piece.

“Don’t you dare buy it!” Toni commands, clutching her own Park Place card in her muscular man-hands. She knows that her only chance at a monopoly has been thwarted by Dave’s good fortune.

“I would like to buy the property,” Dave says calmly, careful not to look Toni in the eye.

“David, if you buy this property, I’ll see to it that you lose this game!” Toni threatens, streams of sweat pouring.

“I’m buying it,” Dave maintains, sliding his $400 to banker Alex, “I have no other properties. This is my only chance to stay in the game. I need it.”

“You make me sick!” Toni snaps, “Monopoly! Game on!”

*********

Paradise Hotel is what I call a "miscellaneous" reality show. Yes, I categorize my reality shows, which you will find out as you read my countdown posts. Anyway, PH is not really a straight up competition show...not really a dating show...not a documentary-type show...definitely not a talent show...just miscellaneous.

Another show I watched that fits into this category would be the very dreadful "Forever Eden". It aired a year after PH. The concept was pretty much the same, but it was supposed to be a NEVERENDING show. I think it lasted about 10 episodes. So much for "forever".

And can't forget Temptation Island as a miscellaneous show. While it's bad that these people decide to test their relationships by going on seperate "islands" where temptors await, it's even worse that I actually watched it...

Luckily Paradise Hotel was resurrected this past winter. Of course, I watched it again. And it was good - just nowhere near as good as season 1. Season 1 was lightning in a bottle...