Here's a game! Below are quotes from the characters who have made my list. Before the countdown is revealed, see if you can guess who said these lines...
(order of quotes is not indicative of placement in my countdown)
Character #1
"Of all the Basic Applied Economic Principles of Capitalism in the Post-Industrial Era Seminars in the world, you had to walk into mine."
"People who have money don't need people."
Character #2
"You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying. "
"Get back here, you deceitful little Sicilian gekko!"
Character #3
"Momma told me never to do the dance of joy alone, or I would go blind."
"Well, feed me garlic and call me stinky!"
Character #4
"You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind."
"That's what she said!"
Character #5
"Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes."
"I'm going to make out in the coatroom. Don't eat my chicken."
Character #6
"Yes, you can give him a message. You do take shorthand, don't you? Good, we take it in the South too. Anyway, just tell him that I have been a Southerner all my life, and I can vouch for the fact the we do eat a lot of things down here... and we've certainly all had our share of grits and biscuits and gravy, and I myself have probably eaten enough fried chicken to feed a third world country - not to mention barbecue, cornbread, watermelon, fried pies, okra, and... yes... if I were being perfectly candid, I would have to admit we have also eaten our share of crow, and for all I know - during the darkest, leanest years of the Civil War, some of us may have had a Yankee or two for breakfast. But... speaking for myself and hundreds of thousands of my Southern ancestors who have evolved through many decades of poverty, strife, and turmoil, I would like for Mr. Weaks to know that we have surely eaten many things in the past, and we will surely eat many things in the future, but - God as my witness - we have never, I repeat, never eaten dirt!"
"I think you should tell them to take their invitation, fold it in five corners, and stick it where the sun don't shine."
Character #7
"Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know me and have access to my dementia?"
"You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect. "
Character #8
"It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!"
"Suit up!"
Character #9
"Shut up! If I want you to speak, I'll wave a Snausage in front of your nose."
"Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything. Creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild."
Character #10
"...that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life! No wonder you get D's in everything! You're afraid to try because you're afraid your brain is going to explode and it's going to ooze out of your ears. Now I'm telling you, you are going to try as hard as you can. And you're going to do it because I said so. I am your father. I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out!"
"I'm a parent and a taxpayer. And I am probably the only adult who will sue little children."
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