Harper's Island: Examining The Remaining Suspects

Here's a rundown of my latest thoughts and observations on the remaining suspects. I am taking the show's promo seriously - 25 suspects, 1 killer. So, I am not considering any 2 killer theories. I am also not considering anyone outside of the main 25 as being the killer. That being said, I have 3 main suspects at the moment. Subject to change. And I fully expect to be wrong. Fool me, Harper's Island writers!!!!

HENRY DUNN
Evidence: He doesn't have strong alibis for any of the murders (there is a time issue with one murder, but I'm going to assume time progression from scene to scene is not necessarily in "real time")
Motive: We know his parents are dead - but we have no further details. There could be motive in this somewhere. BUT, I think no matter who the killer is, it ties to Wakefield somehow. So maybe Henry is Wakefield's child. Maybe Henry and Abby are half-siblings - since it's been said that the killings are "all about Abby".
Arguments: Message boards are on fire with people naming Henry as the killer. AND the most recent episode made him look a bit guilty...That makes me feel like the writers WANT us to think the killer is Henry, which would mean it's NOT.
My verdict: One of my main suspects!


TRISH WELLINGTON
Evidence: None that I've picked up on.
Motive: Nothing so far.
Arguments: She was shown in the company of others in the most recent episode - when at least 2 murders took place
My verdict: Not the killer.


JIMMY MANCE
Evidence: He has the tools, the strength, and - for awhile - the opportunity to commit the murders
Motive: All I can come up with is revenge for Abby leaving without a goodbye 7 years earlier - and that's not much of a motive at all
Arguments: He was with Abby when the murder of Cole Harkin took place. So, unless that was somehow rigged (like Hunter Jennings and Mr. Wellington), he couldn't be the killer.
My verdict: Probably not the killer.


MAGGIE KRELL
Evidence: A lot of screenshots of Candlewick Inn stuff...The matchbox for Lucy's death was from the Inn...The boat for Hunter's death was from the Inn. She sent Abby to turn off the lights, which set off the head spade for Mr. W's death. AND - possible clue - in the most recent ep, the word Boniface was shown, which means "keeper of an inn" - and that's Maggie!
Motive: None so far, but I would assume a connection to Wakefield.
Arguments: I have a hard time believing a woman could carry out some of the murders - ones that require great, great strength. And Maggie has been such a background character - it would kind of be a letdown for her to be the killer. We'll see if she's featured more in upcoming eps.
My verdict: Very possible. One of my 3 top suspects.



BETH BARRINGTON
Evidence: None that I've found.
Motive: None so far.
Arguments: Like I said before, I'm not convinced a woman would have the strenght to carry out some of the murders.
My verdict: Nope. Not the killer.



CAL VANDEUSEN
Evidence: Young Madison made references to a "new friend" who was telling her creepy things about the island - and we know Cal got along well w/Madison on the boat trip to the island. Also, as a doctor, Cal has a little more knowledge about the human body - which couldn't hurt. And, we were shown a semi-violent side of him for about 5seconds in episode 1.
Motive: None so far.
Arguments: Cal has been shown as a pretty passive guy. His personality doesn't fit the profile of a murderer. Plus, for 2 murders in ep 2, he was hanging upside down from a tree. Pretty solid alibi.
My verdict: No. I think Cal's a good guy.



CHLOE CARTER
Evidence: She has a fascination with serial killers and knows a lot about Wakefield.
Motive: None so far.
Arguments: She's a girl - and not a particularly strong one - so I say she absolutely could not have hacked up Uncle Marty - or hoisted Richard onto the tree. Plus, she has alibis for a few of the murders.
My verdict: No.



SULLY
Evidence: None that I've found.
Motive: None indicated so far.
Arguments: Has alibis for a few of the murders.
My verdict: No.



DANNY BROOKS
Evidence: Nope.
Motive: Nope.
Arguments: Seems to have alibis for a couple of the murders.
My verdict: My gut says NO.



KATHERINE WELLINGTON
Evidence: Not really.
Motive: I'd guess money, if anything.
Arguments: In the most recent ep, she was with a group while murders were taking place.
My verdict: Doubtful.



NIKKI BOLTON
Evidence: None that I've found.
Motive: Nothing comes to mind.
Arguments: Hard to say for sure, but I think she has an alibi for the reverend's murder (being at The Cannery as part of the scavenger hunt)...also, she discovered Kelly's body.
My verdict: Doubtful.



SHANE PIERCE
Evidence: Doesn't matter.
Motive: Doesn't matter.
Arguments: He was in jail for several of the murders. Even witnessed one.
My verdict: No.



SHEA ALLEN
Evidence: Nothing I've picked up on.
Motive: No clear possible motive.
Arguments: In the most recent ep, she was shown with group when murders took place.
My verdict: No.



SHERIFF MILLS
Evidence: He has a virtual shrine to the Wakefield murders in his home.
Motive: Wakefield-related
Arguments: In the most recent ep, he was in Cole Harkin's cabin when Cole was killed with arrows. Unless the arrows were rigged, he couldn't have done it.
My verdict: Don't think so.



ABBY MILLS
Evidence: I'm not sold on any.
Motive: Her mom was killed 7 years ago - maybe that drove her crazy.
Arguments: She has alibis for several of the murders.
My verdict: Not a chance, in my opinion.



MADISON ALLEN
Evidence: She's creepy and seems to know things.
Motive: No?
Arguments: She's a 9 year old kid.
My verdict: No way.



JD DUNN
IS he dead? It wasn't clear.
Evidence: Plenty of evidence. He's been in fights, put a dead deer on Shane's truck (and maybe a deer head in Henry's tub), messed around with fireworks as a prank...Was the last person to see Kelly before she died...and had dead Uncle Marty's phone in his possession.
Motive: Craziness, possible Wakefield link.
Arguments: He was in jail during...what? 2 killings? He's the obvious red herring.
My verdict: No. And I hope he's not dead.



AND

JOEL BOOTH
Evidence: I know he's "dead" - but his death could have been easily faked. Going into this show, I said I expected the killer to fake their death partway through. So I can't help but be suspicious of this one.
Motive: Likely Wakefield related. Literally. I think he could be related to Wakefield. Or just crazy.
Arguments: He's presumed dead. I think I read on a message board that the producers/writers/something confirmed that he's dead (I haven't seen a direct quote myself, though)
My verdict: One of my main suspects!

Harper's Island: 5 Most Suspicious Suspects Countdown

I'll preface this by saying, I really only have 3 Most Suspicious Suspects, so 4 and 5 are fillers.

It's nearly impossible to select ANY suspects, because the show keeps throwing all kinds of stuff at us - stuff from the past, people from the past, more plot complications. Seriously, my head is spinning from it all. And my suspect theories change on a weekly basis. But here is what I'm thinking this week...um...and I can't even go into motives - that's just too confusing right now.

Note: I will likely be adding to this.

5. Beth Barrington

No GOOD reason why. I just feel there is something more to this girl that we're not getting. Something that might come up in future episodes.

She DID make a concerned phone call to Lucy's voicemail (not knowing Lucy was dead). That alone makes me think she should be crossed off the suspect list, BUT if she's the killer and hopes to get away with it, such an act could make her less suspicious to authorities...if they were, for some reason, to check Lucy's phone. That's reaching a bit, but out of the remaining suspects, she's one that stands out to me.

And it seems she's been available for all of the murders.

4. Shane Pearce

He's a bad guy with a bad temper.

He has access to many of the murder weapons.

Okay, so he's been in jail for the past couple of killings...So he probably is not the killer, but he's still very suspicious in my book. Maybe next ep we'll find out ol' Sheriff Mills let Shane go at some point. Who knows with this show...

3. Joel Booth

Before the show started, I predicted that the killer might fake their own death, continue killing, and then pop up in the end for a big surprise. Joel's accidental, self-inflicted wound could have been faked.

In ep 1, there is a pretty pointless, blink-and-you'll-miss-it shot of Joel grabbing his luggage. And there are scuba tanks with his luggage, which may or may not have been a hint that he was involved in the death of Cousin Ben.

2. Jimmy Mance

He's got the skills and strength...and tools to commit the murders.

He's a local, so he knows the island well.

I don't think he has an alibi for ANY of the murders.

I have to admit, part of me would like Jimmy to end up with Abby. Happily ever after. So I don't really WANT him to be the killer. BUT another part of me thinks it might be some good tv. Jimmy gone bad!

1. Henry Dunn

• From what I can tell, he has been pretty much "available" for all the murders...

He's from Tacoma - just like the previous serial killer on the island - coincidence, or something more?

His parents died. But how? We haven't been given much explanation there. Mighty peculiar, eh?

His brother is the red herring. Nice way to deflect suspicion, I think. Make JD seem like the bad brother, Henry the good brother. But in reality, it's the opposite. (Elaborating on this, I think he could've swiped Uncle Marty's cell and planted it in JD's stuff. Not a lot of brotherly love here.)

And if they really want to fool us, why not have the nice guy be the killer?

Season Finales...

Must discuss TV! I'm going to blab about various season finales as I watch them. Spoilers ahead, so don't read my rants if you haven't watched yet! And I will be adding to this as more finales air, so check back often.

THE OFFICE
Thursday, May 14
Good episode...but not season finale worthy. First of all, in previous seasons, we've gotten a super-sized finale. This one was only the standard half hour. And the so-called "cliffhanger"...extremely underwhelming. It would've been SO much better if Angela would've been pregnant. There would've been an awesome "who's the father?" cliffhanger. And having Michael see the girl from the Blood Drive episode at the end would've been great, too. Instead, all we get is...really nothing. Nothing to look forward to for next season. Of course I'll watch it, but I won't be combing message boards over the summer looking for inside info or anything. Yawn. MY GRADE: As an episode, I'd give it a B, maybe B+, but as a season finale, I expect more, so it gets a C.

GREY'S ANATOMY
Thursday, May 14
I will admit, I've barely watched this season. I started it off, missed some eps, and then accumulated about 6 hours worth on my dvr...all of which I watched yesterday - and only because my mom said she just HAD to discuss the finale with me. Honestly, I was considering deleting the eps unwatched to clear up dvr space...but I am really glad I didn't! I was blown away with the George thing. Absolutely blown away. My husband (who does not watch the show, but happened to be in the room on his computer as I watched) even had to comment on the brilliance. Kudos to the writers because THAT is how a finale should be done. MY GRADE: A+


HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
Monday, May 18
Not bad, could've been better. The episode was actually quite good - and I think it DID set up for some interesting things next season (assuming there is one) - but there was no big cliffhanger moment - which I think all season finales should have. However, it is tricky with this show, since this could very well have been the SERIES finale. And a cliffhanger for a SERIES finale is rather frustrating. So they did a fair job making an episode that could go either way. MY GRADE: B-

THE MENTALIST
Tuesday, May 19
Well...I'm glad that the Red John story will live on, but there were some very big leaps made on this episode. "I knew you were the killer because you were chewing gum!" But, it IS just a tv show, so I can try to overlook that...Still, I expect more from a season finale. I want a cliffhanger, darn it! I want something to look forward to next season - something to wonder about through the summer. Even something small. Based on that, this show didn't deliver. In fact, the episode itself was a bit on the dull side. MY GRADE: C+

90210
Tuesday, May 19
Wow, so much happened in this finale episode! It was a strong ep (for what it is), with focus on all the major characters - and every storyline left off with questions to be answered next season. Which I love. That's exactly what I want in a finale - a whirlwind of activity and a good cliffhanger. Even if it involves my least favorite character, Annie...Oh, and the parents eating the pot brownies was one of the best moments on the series ever! Well done, but I do subtract points for the heavily contrived Jen/Liam storyline - seemed a little too thrown together to me. And the Brenda dream...I think the writers were eating pot brownies on that one. MY GRADE: A-





.

Must watch this!!!!!

HARPER'S ISLAND

Starts THIS Thursday

on CBS

5 BEST SHOWS CURRENTLY ON TV - ACCORDING TO ME

#5

Ghost Whisperer

Friday 8/7c on CBS

I started watching this show for the first time this season, though I believe it's been on for a few years. Jennifer Love Hewitt talks to ghosts and solves the mystery of why they are lingering around the living world. It's better than it sounds, I promise, but it is what it is.

*4 stars*

#4

The Big Bang Theory

Monday 8/7c on CBS

I missed most of season 1, but I never miss an episode this season. I love it! It's about two scientist geeks named Sheldon and Leonard. Sheldon is the best - absolutely hilarious. And all of the uber-intelligent science jargon only adds to it!

* 4 1/2 stars *

#3

How I Met Your Mother

Monday 8:30/7:30c on CBS

One of my favorite shows. My husband and I always say that this show is better than Friends. While the premise is mildly similar (a group of pals living in New York), HIMYM is way more clever - and a lot funnier (thanks to the always awesome Barney Stinson). AND the characters are much more likeable as well.

* 4 3/4 stars *

#2

The Office

Thursday 9/8c on NBC

This season has been a little up and down for me, but it's still one of my all-time favorite shows. I guess it takes a certain sense of humor to get and enjoy this show and the characters working at paper company Dunder Mifflin.

* 5 stars *

#1

The Mentalist

Tuesdays 9/8c on CBS

I can't say enough about this show. It's clever, often humorous - great casting, well-written. Since the cancellation of Journeyman, I have latched onto this show as a replacement. Luckily the future looks a little bit brighter for The Mentalist. yay!

CBS description: Simon Baker stars as Patrick Jane, a detective and independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation

* 5 stars *

Semi-harsh commentary on other shows I watch...

Grey's Anatomy

I don't know what's up with this show. Season 1 was great...Season 2 was pretty good...Season 3 was kind of terrible...Season 4 started off lame but turned out fine...Season 5 is decent so far - BUT there are some flaws, I think, in the show. First of all, do they know who their demographic is? Do they even care? I would assume that it's women in their 20s through 60s who swoon over the male leads. So what's up with the lesbian relationships and weirdo ghost sex? And why does everyone fall for George? My personal favorite storyline right now is Christina and Dr. Owen Hunt (Journeyman!!!) and I'm kind of digging whatever is happening with "Little Grey" and "McSteamy". Personal opinion: Izzie and George can go ahead and check out of Seattle Grace for good. Their characters have become useless. And bring back Dr. Hahn! Heck, bring back Dr. Burke!

* 3 stars *

90210

I loved BH 90210 "back in the day", so I had to give the new version a chance. And I have so many opinions about it. First of all, I can't stand the female lead - Annie. Terrible. Dreadful. Second of all, the show is more comparable to later seasons of 90210. In the beginning of the original, it was a GOOD show with GOOD messages. Very positive. It dealt with real life things, but ultimately it was positive. Then it turned into an outlandish soap opera glorifying drinking...drugs...sex...Maybe I'm just getting old. There are definitely some really good aspects of the show - of course I like the storylines featuring original characters (Kelly and Brenda - though I do so wish others would join in as well! Donna? DYLAN? Andrea? Brandon? Steve!?!) and also I think that there is a constant theme of the importance of friendships and relationships with parents/siblings. If you can find it in all the overblown drama, of course.......

* 2 3/4 stars *

JUMPING THE SHARK...

Jump the shark - a defining moment that changes everything...for the worse.

In the world of television, this term is used to pinpoint the moment that a particular show dropped off in quality - beyond repair.

There is a webiste and everything.

I'm taking all of my favorite shows and then some - I'll tell you the majority opinion (according to www.jumptheshark.com) as well as my own. Feel free to comment - tell if you agree or disagree!

GILMORE GIRLS
Majority opinion: When Lorelai slept w/Christopher
My opinion: Rory steals a yacht and drops out of Yale...Rory would not do that. And it set into motion a whole chain of events that were - for lack of a better word - sucky. The show did not need to go there.

VERONICA MARS
Majority opinion: Never jumped!
My opinion: Never jumped! (I didn't care for the 3rd season as much, but it was still quality - and didn't ruin the show beyond repair)

GREY'S ANATOMY
Majority opinion: Meredith died in the ferry crash
My opinion: Meredith slept with George (Why does everyone want to sleep with George? I don't get it. First Meredith, then Callie, then Izzie, now Lexie. And it's too much of a plot point. I don't like it.)

DAWSON'S CREEK
Majority opinion: Graduation
My opinion: I don't know, I've never watched it

BEVERLY HILLS 90210
Majority opinion: Brenda's departure
My opinion: Brenda's departure...Everything shifted after that and it became a soap opera. It was no longer the show I loved.

SEINFELD
Majority opinion: Never jumped
My opinion: Never jumped - in fact, some of the best episodes (in my opinion) were in the final season. And I LOVED the finale.

FRIENDS
Majority opinion: Never jumped
My opinion: the romance between Rachel and Joey - although, there was some really crappy stuff done w/various characters before that...but the Rachel/Joey episodes are unwatchable for me. Yuck.

BLOSSOM
Majority opinion: "a very special" (in other words, when the plotlines began getting too serious and movie-of-the-weekish
My opinion: Never jumped. Personally, I liked the "very special" episodes of Blossom. It was a good show. Why is this show not in syndication?!?!

GROWING PAINS
Majority opinion: the birth of Chrissy
My opinion: the rapid aging of Chrissy (she went from baby to age 7 just "like that") and, with that, the great dynamic the Seavers had shared over the years was changed.

KATE AND ALLIE
Majority opinion: Allie marries Bob
My opinion: My first instinct is to say "never jumped", because there are really good episodes all the way to the end. However, I do admit, the last season was not quite up to par. And, while it was the same time as Allie married Bob, that wasn't the problem. The problem was Kate. During the final season, her character changed. She suddenly seemed less secure and strong and spunky, as she had been throughout the rest of the series. So, I guess my answer here would be "Kate changed" or "season 5" - but not attributed to the marriage of Allie and Bob or the move to midtown.

DHARMA AND GREG
Majority opinion: the car accident
My opinion: the car accident (though I hated the storyline involving Charlie the college professor who fell for Dharma - that sucked)

PARTY OF FIVE
Majority opinion: too much tragedy (wow, that's non-specific...)
My opinion: day one. I hate that show.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Majority opinion: Never jumped
My opinion: Don't know - I've never watched it

TOP 10 LIST OF THE DAY...

MY 10 FAVORITE...

TV THEME SONGS!

#10

Alice

(I like this version, which I think was the first...It changed at some point, but this is the one I like)

#9

Laverne & Shirley

#8

Greatest American Hero

#7

The A-Team

#6

Three's Company

no video???? :-(

Come and knock on our door...

#5

Diff'rent Strokes

#4

CSI

#3

One Day at a Time

#2

WKRP in Cincinnati

(can't get the actual opening vid, but here's the song)

#1

Veronica Mars

#1: "NOBODY LIKES A BLONDE IN A HAMSTER BALL..."

VERONICA MARS

of Veronica Mars

(You saw this one coming, right?)

Let me pretend I know what I'm talking about...

Veronica Mars is a more "characterized" character than most, which I love. She wasn't entirely made to drive the plot of the show. The plot of the show was what made her. Formerly a happy, popular high school girl - member of the pep squad, girlfriend of one of the richest, most popular boys in school - Veronica changed forever after the murder of her best friend - and the series of events that followed. Veronica's motivations - her actions, her words - are always so authentically Veronica. She doesn't change to suit a storyline or drive the plot. And, in my tv viewing world, that's the mark of a truly great character.

In a word, Veronica Mars = dichotomy.

She's a no nonsense type of gal, but deep down, she's a marshmallow. She's cynical, jaded, snarky, smart and tough, but she has a soft spot for the disenfranchised. And, despite the emotional walls and armor and scathing remarks, she loves and is loved.

WHO IS VERONICA MARS?

(from the dvd)

MORE VERONICA MARS:

#2: "PEOPLE WHO HAVE MONEY DON'T NEED PEOPLE."

ALEX P. KEATON

of Family Ties


I wrote a really great post about Alex. And then my cat jumped on my keyboard and erased it all...and for some reason, blogger hadn't saved it. So, if this blog posting doesn't do Alex P. Keaton justice, I assure you the previous, cat sabotaged one did.

Back in my day, there were quite a few sitcoms featuring relatively "normal" teens involved in "normal" teen hijinx. You had your Theo Huxtable...your Mike Seaver...your Samantha Micelli...

And then there was Alex.

He was certainly not a typical teen. He carried a briefcase. He read the Wall Street Journal. Watched Wall Street Week. He idolized not a rock star or movie star, but Presidents Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon. All of this to the chagrin of his former hippie parents.

Alex could've easily been a "normal" teen, but making him the 'Young Republican' black sheep of his family was brilliant. In my opinion, it MADE the show. And I don't think any actor could've pulled it off as well as Michael J. Fox. I mean, how often do you actually get to see a Republican portrayed as cool?

A GREAT ALEX EPISODE:

"A, My Name is Alex"

#3: "I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL THEM TO TAKE THEIR INVITATION, FOLD IT IN FIVE CORNERS, AND STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!"

JULIA SUGARBAKER

Designing Women

If I could be any TV character for a day, this might be the one. Just for the speeches - the perfectly worded, rapid-fire, giving the world a piece of her mind speeches.

Julia Sugarbaker, in my opinion, is one of the most well-crafted women ever on the small screen. Because of the speeches :-)

Kudos to the writers for crafting these wonderful works of word art - and kudos to Dixie Carter for performing them to perfection!


And, by the way, her nickname is "the Terminator".

Just a couple great "Terminator Tirades", courtesty of www.designingwomenonline.com

During the great debate between men and women.

JULIA: ...........in general it has been the men who have done the raping and the robbing and the killing and the war-mongering for the last two thousand years.... and it's been the men who have done the pillaging and the beheading and the subjecating of whole races into slavery. It has been the men who have done the law making and the money making and the most of the mischief making! So if the world isn't quite what you had in mind you have only yourselves to thank!!

REESE: Oh yeah? That's what you think about men? Well let me tell you something about women............... They're always late.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Julia gets a visit in jail from the female publisher of a nudie magazine.

TERRY: Mrs. Sugarbaker, I'm Terry Wilder.

JULIA: Yes, they told me you wanted to speak with me.

TERRY: I've decided to drop the lawsuit.

JULIA: Yes, they told me that, too.

TERRY: I had you checked out. You're a very tough lady. And I like that.

JULIA: So you're graciously going to set me free?

TERRY: Just so you know Mrs. Sugarbaker, this is still America, and free speech will always be protected.

JULIA: I know it will. But pornography won't always be, Miss Wilder. This country will let the Nazis speak, and the Ku Klux Klansmen speak because as dispicable as their statements are, they are speaking their mind. But when you publish your magazine, you're not speaking your mind. You'd shut that magazine down tomorrow if it weren't turning a profit. You know it and I know it. Pornography is not free speech, it's commerce. Otherwise you couldn't zone it out of certain nice areas of the city.

TERRY: Well, I see I am getting nowhere. We're both business women. Let's just leave it at that. I won't bother you, and you won't bother me.

JULIA: No, that's not quite right, Miss Wilder. You bother me very much. I know I can be sanctimonious and self-righteous, but nevertheless I've just gotta say it. Shame on you for calling yourself a feminist. And shame on you for hurting and demeaning women everywhere -- all for a lousy nickel. I may not be able to stop you today, but someday...we're going zone you right out of the city. And then we're gonna zone you right out of the county and then we're going to zone you right out of the country. And in fact, Miss Wilder, if I had my way, we might just zone you right off the globe.

#4:IT'S WONDERFUL DATING IN MIAMI. EVERY SINGLE MAN UNDER 80 SELLS COCAINE."

DOROTHY ZBORNAK

The Golden Girls

By far, my favorite Golden Girl!

She's funny - not just with her sarcastic quips, but also in her facial expressions.

I think most of my favorite Dorothy moments are her scenes with Rose, which inevitably include some of that biting sarcasm and some priceless facial expressions!

Some great Dorothy moments:

#5: "I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD, AND I'LL TAKE YOU OUT!"

CLIFF HUXTABLE

of The Cosby Show

What a shame there aren't still shows like this on tv. And what a shame there aren't more dads like Cliff Huxtable! All-time #1 tv dad in my book, for sure.

Cliff is pretty much ideal in every way. Great dad, great husband, great doctor. And he's funny, too!

CLASSIC CLIFF MOMENTS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtJpafsDAr8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFCPb3t6HRM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeaayMlLQDc

#6: "I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!"

MICHAEL SCOTT

of The Office

There is no character on tv who is more obtuse...ignorant...oblivious than Michael Gary Scott...

Of course, he thinks he's the wittiest, coolest, smartest boss ever...

No matter what ridiculous things he says - or what horribly annoying things he does, I can't wait to see what's next. He's pretty much an 8 year old trapped in a man's body. And though he may do outlandish things - things that no one would do in "real life", it somehow works...ridiculous as it is.

Burning your foot on a Foreman Grill?
Typical Michael Scott.

Organizing a charity run for rabies after hitting someone with your car?
Typical Michael Scott.

Attempting to stage a fake suicide to show that an office work environment is just as dangerous as a warehouse work environment?

Typical Michael Scott.

Marking your date with a Sharpie so you'll remember who she is?

Typical Michael Scott.




Michael declares bankruptcy:

Michael's plasma tv:

That's what she said...

Cosby impression...

#7: "SUIT UP!"

BARNEY STINSON

of How I Met Your Mother

Philanderer...Womanizer...Awesome...

Words to describe Barney Stinson.

Of all the characters on my list, he may very well be the most fleshed out character. Every detail of Barney is so well thought out, it's *awesome*. Oh, and don't forget the *awesome*, *legendary* Barney catchphrases...

Catchphrase up!

Barney's apartment

The bracket...

#8: "OY WITH THE POODLES ALREADY!"

LORELAI GILMORE

of Gilmore Girls

Fast-talking, free spirited Lorelai Gilmore fits right into the ecclectic town of Stars Hollow! With her witty pop culture laced quips, often inappropriate and very verbose tangents, and her junk food-centric diet, what's not to love?

CLASSIC LORELAI MOMENTS:

"Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes."

"I'm going to make out in the coatroom. Don't eat my chicken."

#9: "YOU KNOW I ALWAYS WANTED TO PRETEND I WAS AN ARCHITECT..."

GEORGE COSTANZA
of Seinfeld

Truth be told, my favorite character on Seinfeld is Jerry. But Jerry is just Jerry. He is, for the most part, normal, if a bit neurotic. George, on the other hand, George is quite a character. In fact, some of my favorite Seinfeld episodes and storylines have been George-centric.

George is...well, rather pathetic. And he knows it. He embraces it. He lives his life around that fact.

CLASSIC GEORGE MOMENTS:

The Opposite

George is a "bad boy"

George's Answering Machine

#10: "GET OUT OF THE CITY!"

BALKI BARTOKOMOUS

of Perfect Strangers

Balki Bartokomous, a shepherd from the fictional island of Mypos, came to America to find his cousin, Larry. Balki was refreshingly naive and optimistic, and a just plain 100% good guy with a 100% good heart - the kind of character rarely seen on tv - or in real life.

His misinterpretation of American slang - and the English language in general - his wacky Myposian customs, and his enthusiasm in going along with cousin Larry's ill-conceived schemes made for much hilarity, consistent throughout the series.

CLASSIC BALKI MOMENTS:

"Momma told me never to do the dance of joy alone, or I would go blind."

From one of my favorite episodes:

And the Mypos cure for the common cold:

"Well, feed me garlic and call me stinky!"

Kicking off my favorite tv characters...

Here's a game! Below are quotes from the characters who have made my list. Before the countdown is revealed, see if you can guess who said these lines...

(order of quotes is not indicative of placement in my countdown)

Character #1

"Of all the Basic Applied Economic Principles of Capitalism in the Post-Industrial Era Seminars in the world, you had to walk into mine."

"People who have money don't need people."

Character #2

"You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying. "

"Get back here, you deceitful little Sicilian gekko!"

Character #3

"Momma told me never to do the dance of joy alone, or I would go blind."

"Well, feed me garlic and call me stinky!"

Character #4

"You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind."

"That's what she said!"

Character #5

"Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes."

"I'm going to make out in the coatroom. Don't eat my chicken."

Character #6

"Yes, you can give him a message. You do take shorthand, don't you? Good, we take it in the South too. Anyway, just tell him that I have been a Southerner all my life, and I can vouch for the fact the we do eat a lot of things down here... and we've certainly all had our share of grits and biscuits and gravy, and I myself have probably eaten enough fried chicken to feed a third world country - not to mention barbecue, cornbread, watermelon, fried pies, okra, and... yes... if I were being perfectly candid, I would have to admit we have also eaten our share of crow, and for all I know - during the darkest, leanest years of the Civil War, some of us may have had a Yankee or two for breakfast. But... speaking for myself and hundreds of thousands of my Southern ancestors who have evolved through many decades of poverty, strife, and turmoil, I would like for Mr. Weaks to know that we have surely eaten many things in the past, and we will surely eat many things in the future, but - God as my witness - we have never, I repeat, never eaten dirt!"

"I think you should tell them to take their invitation, fold it in five corners, and stick it where the sun don't shine."

Character #7

"Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know me and have access to my dementia?"

"You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect. "

Character #8

"It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!"

"Suit up!"

Character #9

"Shut up! If I want you to speak, I'll wave a Snausage in front of your nose."

"Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything. Creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild."

Character #10

"...that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life! No wonder you get D's in everything! You're afraid to try because you're afraid your brain is going to explode and it's going to ooze out of your ears. Now I'm telling you, you are going to try as hard as you can. And you're going to do it because I said so. I am your father. I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out!"

"I'm a parent and a taxpayer. And I am probably the only adult who will sue little children."

BEST TV CHARACTERS EVER...

For my next theme, I will be posting my all-time favorite tv characters! Making this into a countdown is harder than you'd think. Every time I think I have my top 10, I think of someone else who might be more top 10 worthy. And then every time I think I have my 10 in order, I change my mind, feeling momentarily stronger about #6 than I do about #4. It's not easy, but I'm going to do it. I love a good countdown, after all.

And, once I have my characters settled upon, I might make a little game out of it. So check back for more info on that!

TOP 5 TV SHOWS GONE TOO SOON...

There are TONS of tv shows out there. TONS. Some good, some great, some horrible. And it's unfortunate that it's not always the great ones (or even the good ones) that stick around. So, here is MY countdown of shows that were cancelled too soon.

#5

My So-Called Life

While this show is kind of...well...a downer, it was well done. Interesting. Intriguing. Somehow addictive. And I was shocked when it was cancelled after 19 episodes. Because it really seemed like the kind of show that would (and should) be around for many seasons. Now, I will admit, no matter how much I liked the show when it came out (I was 16 at the time), when I watch it now (as a 30 year old), I find myself sort of...annoyed by it (Seriously, how many times do they have to say "like" in a scripted show?!?). Perhaps that was the reason for its demise. Too small of a demographic. Still, MSCL deserved more - and, in my opinion, many shows since have "borrowed" (aka ripped off) some of MSCL's greatness and enjoyed far more success. No fair!

#4

It's Like, You Know

1999-2000

I bet none of you have even heard of this show. It was a really cute, witty sitcom in the late 90s starring Jennifer Grey (of Dirty Dancing) as herself. Basically, it was a BIT like a west coast version of Friends or How I Met Your Mother. A group of friends and their day-to-day adventures. I found it to be a bit more clever and fun than a lot of sitcoms out there. Apparently the viewing public (or netword execs, perhaps) did not agree, 'cause ILYK lasted a mere 25 episodes (though I'm not entirely sure all were aired...). The title of the show, by the way, was said in every episode by one of the characters.

Clip time! Warning - I was hesitant to post this clip, because it's a little...well...NOT indicative of the humor and feel of the show. However, it's the only clip on youtube. So, here ya go:

#3

Journeyman

2007/2008

One thing about me, I don't do sci-fi. It's just not me. But I LOVED this show. It lasted a mere 13 episodes, but it was fantastic. Family man/newspaper reporter, Dan Vasser, suddenly begins involuntarily time travelling to help people in trouble. But there's more to it than that - SO much more. It came on after Heroes - and what's insane is that Heroes was getting mad ratings even though it was positively awful (in my opinion) - and Journeyman was getting nothing, though it was actually an excellent show.

#2

Sports Night

1998-2000

GREAT show - great cast, great dialogue, great premise - just GREAT. But it only lasted 2 seasons. The producer (Aaron Sorkin) decided he'd rather devote time to his other show, The West Wing. I love the tagline on imdb.com: "It's about sports...The same way Charlie's Angels was about law enforcement."

The entire first episode :-D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKaO-hsb3vM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6mb6awqhQw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke_o_SF-H6A&feature=related

#1

Veronica Mars

2004-2007

There's no way I could make this countdown without including my all-time favorite show. VM lasted 3 seasons, but you might as well say it was cancelled after 2 - since the transition from UPN to The CW changed everything. The first 2 seasons were STRONG with excellent mystery arcs spanning the entire season. But once The CW picked it up , they did away with that formula and created merely decent mini-mystery arcs and then a crop of "un-Veronica Marsian" stand-alone episodes. And that just did not work. Another thing that didn't work - the new characters Piz and Parker as well as the exclusion of beloved originals like Wallace and Weevil. Oh, don't get me started on that. Season 3 COULD have been great, had it followed in the footsteps of seasons 1 and 2. But The CW made too many ill-advised changes and ruined an otherwise superb show. Not to say that season 3 wasn't good - it just wasn't the magic that seasons 1 and 2 were. SO, because of the lame meddling from The CW, Veronica Mars died an early death.